Ahhhhhhhh!! I'm going insane. I'm just going to deem this day a major failure. It doesn't matter how many thin pics I look at I still want food. I think it is better that I give in to this crazy obsession today so that it will only last for today. I even thought about Mcdonald's today something is wrong with me!! Every commercial on TV is about food. Today after several months I am going to give in. Have a good dinner then hate myself. And fast for the rest of the week. I need to fast for forever!!!!! I am going to go to the gym again tonight. The fucked up part of it all I'm not even hungry but I want to eat. I tried to purge again today... nothing.
All of this has to be 100% the reason for being so stressed lately about school and finances. All my friends want me to come out for st. pattys day but I don't have enough money to spend, plus I would need a new outfit, I cant go. I need to make money. My mom even noticed how much my face is scarred up, I keep picking and scratching everywhere. She asked whats wrong... I said nothing lets go out to eat. UGH!!!
I can't wait for tomorrow, a new day. Ill be back on track. I can't wait to be back in control.
About Me
- Tara
- My name is Tara, I'm 21. I don't think I have an ED, but I guess some would disagree. I do have a BIG issue with food. Always have, but it comes and goes. Well its back and stronger then ever. Summer 2010 is nearly here. This is my journey to be 115 then 110. x0x0 This is my first blog so I'm still working on it.
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