lost 4lbs!!

Today is a good morning. Last nite was my first day at my new serving job and I am very happy with what I made, in one night. Then walked to the scale this morning and Wallah!! Down 4! Finally I am getting my body back. I'm gonna keep up with my liquid fast except for 100 cal yogurt for breakfast which i have to have since I am on antibiotics for my skin. My skin is doing alot better.

Minor drama in my life. but nothing I cant handle. Me and K are back on my decision, i did miss her, even tho her ex is having a shit fit all over the damn place. UGH dumb ex girlfriends. K really likes me. Too bad I am dark and twisted... i wont let her in. I am strangely happy with it tho-- ive never had someone like me so much when i rele give them no reason to. She says I am hard to get. I suppose I am. I like being protected and shes like the chase so its a great combo... go figure. Last nite she said she got me gifts. OH JOY! I love gifts. I told her yesterday... i expect the worst from ppl so its only a matter of time before she fucks up and ill be gone. LOL who says that... I do? So she takes that as a challenge and is doing everything in her power to be perfect. Can it really be that easy?

Oh also Ive been hitting up the gym again. Stairmaster burned 1100 cal i saw that and i still think its a mistake. BUT stairmaster it is again today. LUV you girls. Stay strong. Dont loose site of what you want most. Do what makes you feel happy, and if that means having a body that is thin, petite, light, and fragile Do it! Its too hot these days to be carrying around all that weight anyway.

MUCH LUV xoxox,
Tara

sexy or thin...?

Yesterday... I literally slept all day. Mostly because I was hungover like shit. But also because I was pretty depressed. That nite before was pretty dramatic, long story short I woke up my eyes swollwen nearly shut from crying, walked out of K's house before everyone woke up as soon as i could drive and will never see her or any of them every again. My choice. I knew I wasnt going to allow it to last forever just never knew how it would end. Ironically the tears werent even for K... strangely enough drunken me was thinking about her. UGH yeah somehow I still think about her from time to time. who knows.....? Sucha long story, not gonna get into it, its not important.

What is important is my plan for weight lost today. I'm on my cycle today so I have cramps so i need to take some motrin, which complicates things because I cant take it on an empty stomach. Cereal or Yorgurt? That will be all I have for the day.

Oh n that reminds me. My mom is being weird again. She calls from work and tells me everything I could have in the house for lunch. Mind you- I just woke up. So I'm like ok mom watever. Then she asks, so what are u gonna have? Like wtf why are u concerned from work about wat I will have. I told her I'm going back to sleep n hung up. If she starts this up again, we are gonna have problems.


I am having issues tho, and it is primarily the reason why I got off track. I am constantly being conflicted with ideas of being sexy or being thin. Kim K is sexy she has boobs and she has an ass. But being thin-- especially me I have no boobs mostly cause I had none to start with and no ass. which isnt necessarily sexy. But lets say hypothetically i was Kim K size I would constantly feel fat and not sexy. So i donno.... either way I'm not gonna feel sexy. Just that being thin Ill feel best knowing I'm not fat. Srry if thats confusing.

INTERNET IS BACKKKKKKKKK!!!!

OMGGGGGGGGGG GIRLSS I'M FUCKING BACK!!!!!!

MY MOM IS SUCHA DICK !! A BIG FUCKING COCK!!! SHE COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED MY INTERNET ALL SUMMER. I JUST GOT IT BACK ON TODAY. I SWEAR SHE MUST OF FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS SITE. AND AS SOON AS SHE NOTICED I HAVE GOTTEN MORBIDLY OBESE SHE CONNECTED IT BACK!! ASS FUCK OF A MOTHER.

I've thought about you everyday. I swear on my life. ive been soooo lost. and confused. thus i am disgustingly fat and sweaty. it doesn't help that its hell on earth lately-- 104 degrees or sumthing. but if i was skinnier i wouldn't be this damn hot cause i wouldn't have this much fat on me.

and the saddest part is when i tried to go to barnes and nobles or something to try in get connected i couldnt remember my password. ugh i was miserable. I am also so ashamed and embrassed to come back. I'm so sorry ive fallen off. and didnt keep my promise. all i wanted to do was perfect my page and be help to everyone. But thats all in the pass now, i am here. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!


I miss u girls so much. I have so much catching up to do. U made me happier then ever 35 followers. xoxoxoxoxoo! lol and the comments about where I am just made me so happy.

So I am starting a new. I need to drop sum lbs fast! I've been fasting on and off but its nothing compared to how I use to do-- i was kinda a hardass. lol (omg the troll just walked in --- ive gotta be more careful ) I am embarrassed to say what I am now, but believe me u would be so dissappointed. ill do stats again once I get down to a resemble size.

Enough about me-- i gotta learn about the new followers and catch up on the ones i love so much.

*** remember we can always get back on track. and start fresh tomorrow. ***

&&hearts,

Tara