what a day...

I started feeling weird after I posted like light headed and dizzy. Now that I think about it, it was probably just my test anxiety kicking in. But of course I automatically jump to its because I havent had enough nutrients, specifically potassium... i donno why. I remembered hearing that people who skip meals usually have liver failure due to the lack of potassium so when I got to school I had a fruit smoothie I made sure it had alot of potassium - those healthy over priced ones. and it made me feel alot better.

Then first class of the day, my teacher brings in CHOCOLATES, some he had brought from New Orleans when he was down there for Easter Break. I felt bad saying no because he was so excited to get all of us to taste, but Hey if I had said yes I would of felt like shit. So it came down to him or me, i chose me. BUT then he sat the plate of left over chocolates right next to me!!!?? wtf, fml. I think he did that on purpose, see in his class we have journals we have to write in daily and although I minimize talking about my weight in my journal he may have picked up on it, and thought he would tempt me. (ok, ok im over thinking this)

Not too long ago, Im searching my room for something, and I looked under my bed. And guess what I found our box. In it was all the poems, small gifts, deflated balloons, anniversary cards etc from her. written by her. they meant so much to me then. So I reread them. Why? I donno I guess to see if I would feel the same as I did when I first read them. I didnt. My mind automatically tells me it was all lies. Perhaps it was. No matter, the good thing is I'm not bothered by it but totally makes sense why i couldnt f-ing sleep at nite with her right under my bed all this time. Mental note: I must burn everything... soon.

This Saturday I'm going out with E for her bday, yes! tomorrow I might see K . and me and C have been texting all day. No wonder I don't think about the pass anymore. E goes to my school, i was never allowed to talk to her when i was with her . anyway, she came up to me today and said how good i look, and how I seem a lot happier this semester. she was implying now that i am not with her. i agreed. so she invited me to her thing saturday. I cant wait ;)