Um, my life is kinda a blur right now. I really cant explain what's been going on because I barely understand most of it myself. lol I guess its basically the same. 1.weight loss. 2. school. 3. love life (or lack thereof) 4. Drunken escapades.
1. weight loss: I have not a clue. I havent weighed myself in a while (not on wii fit) its weird because physical i feel fat but clothes look nicer,fit looser, smaller sizes, everyone comments on how good I look. Yesterday I went out to the bar with some people from work and actually found out how it felt to be the skinniest friend. that was nice. it makes me smile. however the girls i was with was in no way competition like if you girls were there i would probably be the fat one again, so what does that really mean? Just that I was the least fat. UGH! bummer. Ive been doing fairly well on my diet. I really like sticking to the 6:30pm rule. I'm a tad bit annoyed tho because some of the girls I work with are all, i need to diet now, i'm gonna stop eating meat like tara. To me: Imitation is not a form of flattery, its just annoying. but thats just with them because I know they are not serious. as soon as a piece of chicken falls in their lap (which it did at work) they ate it. like wtf. Oh well, not everyone has the will power, thus, they are fat. Other then that, I need to exercise some more. I need to start losing more pounds then staying at my current weight, i am getting to0 comfortable with where i'm at, the battle is not over yet... mental note. And I need to keep up with my food journal, i've been slacking.
2. School: fml! its not too out of control right now. but i have seniorisits and cant focus worth a damn. just trying to make it thru.
3. love life: is in shambles!! NO! like you have no idea. The forces of the universe are still out to get me. lol NO! Seriously. I keep running into her, I have class with her today. Like its gets so much worst but I'm embarrassed to even type it. Then I, from work is being so wierd. One of her friends came up to me like You guys just need to be friends again already. ... like wtf so awkward. She keeps making all these stupid random conversations with me. shes so wierd. Biggest mistake (next to getting into a relationship with her) One of my friends I was with last nite, A! sooo hot! and these two guys was trying to talk to me and her, very unwanted attention. So she told them we are only into girls to get them to leave us only. lmao I donno but I was kinda getting this vibe from her which made me think she could be interested. If not, she is still totally cool. A few more nites out at the bar will straighten all this out. I would so do her tho, u have no idea, i need some action in my life and I dont find too many girls that I would say that too. Srry, TMI i kno.
4. Drunken escapades: Well, I started hanging out with M, thats how I went out to the bars these past couple a days with ppl from work. and shes cool. But I need to keep her at a distance. (shes the one who wants to stop eating meat now. like she'll criticize me for being too skinny then say how she needs to lose weight. promise u, next time I am gonna tell her she really needs to lose weight that will shut her trap.) I know her type: shes quick to bff someone but secretly hate them, start drama but smile in your face the whole time. you kno? yea i dont trust her too much. Like shes known to hook up with her friends bf's and shit just because she was drunk. I tell her very little about anything, she seems like she just waiting for an opportunity to get some dirt. But I'm like Fort-Knocks up in this bitch lol, and very good at concealing what needs to be kept private.
Oh: and C (boy) totally picked me up. just walked over to me and swoop, i was in the air. I donno how I felt about that. I donno if that made me feel more fat, or light. it was like this wierd controdicting mix of emotions.
I have to remember "Thin is beautiful but even thinner is perfection" I can't let myself settle for where I am at, I can do better.
lots of <3 <3 <3.
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