I'm alive.

hey ladies!

I hope all of you are doing well. For me-- its about the same. I graduate on Saturday. YAY! However thinking of Friday has been giving me alot of anxiety lately. All of my family is coming up... UGH!! I don't wanna be bothered. I see these ppl like one weekend out of the year another then that its just me and my mom occasionally. Just because we are related somehow doesn't mean anything, they are basically strangers lol U kno?? And now i am forced to be cooped up with them this weekend and put on a smile that I am just so happy to be missing out on hanging out with my friends .... Like my little cousins all I remember growing up was beating the shyt out of them. No literally. Why didn't my mom get it then-- I don't like being forced to be around these ppl and now they are coming to my house, Oh JOY!!! I need to find a way to escape.

Oh and all my mom is concerned about is orchestrating what we will all be eating. IS that just me, or is that all she is talking about. her conversation is when they get here we will eat here, saturday I made reservations here, sunday we are gonna have this bigggg brunch before they leave. I just wanna scream: ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS FOOD!!!!

So as you can imagine I have been really anxious. Ive started blow drying my face. The hot air, which burns feels good. It helps instead of picking. Today I couldnt resist tho and went to my legs. I have been trying to not disfigure my face lately since im sure there are gonna be alot of pictures taken. I really am starting to hate hate hate pictures. UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I've rearranged my room again. I just wanna relax. Vodka cranberry and Harry Potter tonite ladies.

Stay strong. love ya mucho!!